Ok. So I thought if we are going to get to know one another like this, there are some things you need to know. Full disclosure.

(Be kind.)

I have a mouse in my garage as we speak. I opened the garage door, it ran in, I screamed, Micah screamed a sympathy-scream, and now my life foundations are crumbly. If you call and I fail to answer, call 911. I’m most likely passed out on the garage floor.

I cannot use pens that are missing their cap. I simply cannot. Their incompleteness harms my fragile sense of wholeness.

I killed a spider the size of my pinky nail yesterday using approximately 22 wadded up paper towels and I still had a near-nervous breakdown.

I am a Recovering Baby-Wiser. (Don’t hate.)

Cuddling in bed is punishable by death. I can cuddle you but please for the love don’t cuddle me. This has caused what’s commonly referred to as Marital Strife.

I know all parents think their child is truly the smartest, cutest child to ever exist. But I don’t think I’m wrong and I don’t think I’m biased. Right?

Stubbed toes are always funny. They’re never not funny. (Unless of course it involves my toes and then it also involves Christian Cursing.)

I have to be even. I have to. If I’m rinsing something off and I get one hand wet, I have to get the other one wet too.

I also have to always put my left sock and shoe on first, and if for some ridiculous reason I accidentally put the right one on first, I have to take it off and start over. (I’m heart-attack serious.)

Lastly.

The way to my heart is Hilarity and Sweets. If you’re not funny, take heart. Anyone can follow a recipe, yes?

In the spirit of Mutual Disclosure, what are some things I should know about you?

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