I had a profound conversation last night.
(Lest you think I’m flattering myself, let me clarify to say that the person with whom I was conversing made a profound statement.)
In my last post I made reference to a “QT”. By that I mean a “quiet time”. What’s that, you may ask (or may not ask, for that matter. But let’s pretend you did ask). Do I mean literally a time of being quiet? No, not in the least, though at times I may be quiet. I actually am not sure where the phrase quiet time came from, seeing as how it may not be completely accurate.
When I refer to it, I mean my specific time every day (morning for me) that I set apart to seek the Lord. I study my Bible, His Word, and spend quite a bit of time in prayer. Not only making requests, but also talking to Him as with a friend, a powerfully perfect Friend. This is where I am free to lay my heart out before Him, exactly as it is, with no pretense. And as I study His Word and learn more and more to discern His voice, I become more and more conformed to His likeness.
Believe me when I say that there is a marked difference in my character and countenance when I allow several days to lapse without seeking Him.
I very much am looking forward to the day when Matt and I have kids, but there is a huge sadness in me already that I will not have the time that I do now to linger in His presence. When I think of it for long enough, in my mind I can easily put off having children. I know the Lord knows this already though, and I absolutely believe that He will provide unique ways to spend time with Him regardless. I know because I’ve seen it (aka Laura Krokos).
But back to my profound moment.
After the Esther study last night, I spent over an hour visiting with a lady who attends, and was absolutely flabbergasted at the amount of wisdom she had, and her absolute heart and love for the Lord.
She said that though she had always had a heart for the Lord, even from when she was little, that when she got married and had children, that she began to drift from Him. Not away from having a heart for Him, but from having time for Him, and she said that the more time that went by not seeking Him, the less she became aware of her need for Him.
And the thing that most floored me was this: she said that she firmly believes that she would have been a vastly different person as a wife and mother had she made daily quiet times a priority.
I take that deeply to heart. My times with the Lord everyday are the most important time of the day; not because I have to, but because I get to and I need to. But I don’t want to be so deceived that I think that could never change.
‘Your face, O Lord, I shall seek.’ “